


I Understand

by StanfouQueen



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Gen, Mentions of past sexual assault, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-12
Updated: 2011-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-27 06:31:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StanfouQueen/pseuds/StanfouQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>George understands victims better than most would think. Angsty drabble from George's POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Understand

I understand. I see the look in their eyes, the emotional, sometimes physical, agony the victims feel. I had that same look in my eyes, once.

I didn't know much about anything. I was innocent, pure, whatever word you want to use. But some man felt he had to change that. I still can feel him. His rough hands grabbing me and holding me while he did the terrible things perps do. And the blades in my skin... I remember the sight of blood pooling around me, the feel inside and out. I remember thinking I wouldn't see my family again. I remember being broken, even after being found by police officers and put in a hospital.

I remember feeling dead even though I'd survived.

I understand.

I remember making a decision, when I'd recovered enough to think. I remember deciding that somehow, I had to figure out what made people like him do such terrible things. I had to understand them.

I'm not sure I understand the perps as well as I'd like. But I understand every victim that comes here.

I put up a professional mask. It wouldn't do, to act on what I feel. It wouldn't do to cry with every victim, it wouldn't help if I attacked every person that hurt a child, or anyone else.

It wouldn't do to let my real feelings out that way, I understand as much.

I have to hide my body, not just because of mental scars, but physical ones, too. The only people I see often, work with me. They would know. I can't let them know. I have to hide the scars, from them, and from me.

I understand. I remember.

I understand what it's like to have to fight to feel and be OK. I understand what it means to be a special victim. I understand, that I can't ever stop working to get rapists off the street, that I can't stop trying to get inside their heads, that I can't stop helping victims to recover.

That's what it means to be Doctor George Huang, most days.

I understand.

I understand.


End file.
